Be aware of Subtle Stress Signals
When you learn how to handle stress it can make the difference between viewing a tough day as terrible or just a nuisance that can’t bring you down. When you get angry or sad, watch your body and mind as they go through the feelings. A disparaging remark from a boss or a snub from a friend are all things that can be turned into moments of growth. The more that you understand your reactions to uncomfortable moments, the easier it will be to enjoy similar situations in the future. It’s a lot easier to blow off these feelings as if they never happened, but that won’t help you in the long run.
Our friend and her husband came for dinner and she explained her new found ability to enjoy one day at a time. They were packing up to drive back to Austin after a three-week visit with their families. She started to get sad because she felt pangs of regret for leaving so many people that were important to the both of them. Her husband told her to enjoy their last night with family while they could, and stop worrying about missing them. He helped her notice her stress signals, keeping her aware of her thoughts. A little switch clicked on and she released the thoughts of sadness and appreciated the time she had with family without worrying about leaving. She stopped living in the next day and enjoyed the day she was in. Her new focus was living one day at a time and it has made a huge improvement in her life. All because she listened to her stress signals and made them a catalyst for her development.
Everyone has little stress signals; if you are aware of them, the signals can help bring you back to the present moment. I clench my jaw when I feel stressed to help me gain some sense of control. The desire for control over the outcome is what makes me get so stressed out. I’ve been practicing relaxing my whole body whenever I’m late for work or exhausted after a hard day. When I notice myself tensing my jaw I release my muscles in my face, neck and stomach, let out all the air in my body and take a couple of slow breaths. I usually go back to tensing my jaw because my thoughts start to ramble back to whatever I was worrying about earlier, but then I tell myself to relax and release my worries all over again and again and again. I’m retraining myself to use this body signal as a way to relax and enjoy. I have done this over a thousand times and it’s slowly working. Last week I was stuck in traffic, late for work and my jaw was loose; I was enjoying looking at all the people sitting and waiting in their vehicles.
If your old habits of dealing with stress haven’t gotten you anywhere, try staying aware of your stress signals and learn to use them to make a tough day a little more enjoyable. Your body has so much to teach you if you are willing to learn. The stress signals are there every day and by staying aware of what they are trying to communicate, you’ll make a tough day a little easier to handle.
la
January 16th, 2007 at 6:15 amVery good insight, Now let’s work on using meditation to keep our bodies warm. It is so cold! I’m visualizing an island with palm trees. The warm ocean water is so comforting. Ahhhh! I feel better already.
Mariah
January 17th, 2007 at 9:41 amBecoming conscious of our stress signals is a great way to understand how when we get stressed, our sympathetic nervous system, i.e. our fight/flight reflexes kick in and we have a “conditioned” response. Noticing our own personal responses (mine being wanting to chew gum, or taste something sweet- or shallow breathing) will help us to train our autonomic nervous system to not need to stress out. A lot of the time the stress is a false perception in our minds, created by a negative thought. I love the idea of listening when we go into a stress response (i.e clenching the jaw) because this is using a negative thing to “cue” us to turn it around into a positive thing: to allow our bodies to breathe deeply, and relax, entering the parasympathetic state of the nervous system, i.e. the “rest and digest” state. This is the state where self-healing occurs.
Question for you Karl- what are your thoughts on perpetual patterns of lateness? I have a problem with rushing in the morning, eating my breakfast as I drive to work, and arriving to work exactly 3 minutes late! This morning I committed to getting up much earlier, had a wonderful morning routine, but still clocked in at 9:02! For some reason, I am not clear on a knee-jerk reaction to get out of the house at a specific time. I am still functioning on a time-scale of getting out of the house after I have everything done that I need to do.
Ideally, I would like to allow enough time for me to be done with breakfast, and still have fifteen minutes to meditate before I go to work. It’s obvious I need support around this issue. Any encouraging thoughts on how to make this happen?
Thanks, Mariah
Karl http://karlstaib.com
January 21st, 2007 at 7:53 pmGreat question Mariah. I answered it in a blog called Mariah’s Question on Perpetual Patterns of Lateness.