Nikki told me a story about an 8th grader in her class who was traumatized by one comment, two years ago, from the teacher my wife replaced; we’ll call her Ms. Smith. The young girl, we’ll call her Jenny, was putting on make-up during class when Ms. Smith told her, “Please put away your make-up. I’m supposed to be the prettiest one in the classroom…” Jenny was only in 6th grade and feeling pretty is very, very important. She couldn’t believe her teacher would say such a thing. Nikki, the student teacher at the time, noticed Jenny’s lips turn into a frown as she shoved her make-up back in her bag.

Nikki is now the teacher and runs her class from a different perspective. The class finished their work and they were telling stories about Ms. Smith. One girl said how mean Ms. Smith was and Jenny agreed and told everyone the “Make-up” story. Nikki was shocked at how Ms. Smith’s joke affected Jenny so deeply.

It’s been over two years and Jenny still holds a grudge against Ms. Smith. It’s amazing how impressionable a person can be when it hits so close to a fear. Jenny was at the stage of wanting to be pretty and have guys notice her and that one comment whacked Jenny right where it hurt most, her physical beauty.

My wife wrapped up the story and told me that she took a mental note when she saw Jenny so upset.

“I told myself that I would never approach the situation like that. If anyone takes out their make-up I tell them, ‘You are so beautiful that you don’t need make-up, so please put it away.’ They almost always smile, look away slightly embarrassed then agree and they actually enjoy putting their make-up back in their bag.”

We all know the saying, “We attract more bees with honey than with vinegar.” But for some reason we have trouble putting away the vinegar bottle.

Show some Love:

This entry was posted on Thursday, March 1st, 2007 at 9:16 pm and is filed under confidence.