Karl: Wow! Yoga is a wonderful tool. It’s also helped me with my back problems. I didn’t think it would help with a fused spine. Do you still have back pain? Have you been able to gain flexibility around your L4/L5?

I like how you’ve surrendered to your life, allowing the TRUST to spring forth. What was it like to let go of everything and truly feel?

I’ve been practicing on doing this, but I get scared. I’ve heard the phrase “TRUST in the process,” but I end up pulling away before I get hurt. How did you teach yourself to turn these emotions into a powerful place?

Kara-Leah: I haven’t experienced back pain in long time. My spine is much more flexible, as are my legs, and my pelvis can move too.

Letting go of everything and feeling was not a definitive point in time, but an on-going process that’s been years… so to describe what it was like would probably take that long. At times it was sweet and tender and soft… and at times it was harsh and fearful and painful.

Eventually though I realised that the FEAR is a pointer - it is a light that tells us where we need to go. It is not US that experiences fear, but the ego, for the ego knows that to go further along the path in that direction is to let the ego GO, and more than anything the ego wants to build itself up. Hence fear is ultimately the ego’s fear of DEATH.

So I learned to dive into the fear.

Into the pain.

Into the grief and the hurt and the loss.

Because when you separate your self out from these feelings, and stop the mind from creating stories around these feelings… whether it’s aversion or craving… when you just experience the feeling for what it is… how can it hurt YOU?

YOU are not your physical body, or your mind, or even your feelings.

Instead, in the present moment feeling of what IT IS, you experience freedom as you realise that NOTHING can truly hurt YOU ever again.

So when you are afraid, say I am experiencing fear - NOT I am afraid. Because YOU are not.

And it is this separation out of “I AM” versus “I am EXPERIENCING” that allows you to move out of your ego with it’s I AM and into your Self with it’s I AM EXPERIENCING.

Because when you are not afraid, you can experience it. Sit with it. Be with it. And watch as it moves about your body.

Then you can see what lies under the fear.

Let me tell you a story.

This is from Osho’s Transformational Tarot.

46. The Quest.

Searching for the house of God

I have talked many times about a beautiful poem of Rabindranath Tagore. The poet has been searching for God for millions of lives. He has seen him sometimes, far away, near a star, and he started moving that way but by the time he reached that star, God had moved to some other place. But he went on searching and searching–he was determined to find God’s home–and the surprise of surprises was, one day he actually reached a house where on the door was written: “God’s Home.”

You can understand his ecstasy, you can understand his joy. He runs up the steps, and just as he is going to knock on the door, suddenly his hand freezes. An idea arises in him: “If by chance this is really the home of God, then I am finished, my seeking is finished. I have become identified with my seeking, with my search. I don’t know anything else. If the door opens and I face God, I am finished–the search is over. Then what?”

He starts trembling with fear, takes his shoes off his feet, and descends back down the beautiful marble steps. His fear is that God may open the door, although he has not knocked. And then he runs as fast as he has never run before. He used to think that he had been running after God as fast as he could, but today he runs as he has never run, not looking back. The poem ends, “I am still searching for God. I know his home, so I avoid it and search everywhere else. The excitement is great, the challenge is great, and in my search I continue to exist. God is a danger–I will be annihilated. But now I am not afraid even of God, because I know where he lives. So, leaving his home aside, I go on searching for him all around the universe. And deep down I know my search is not for God; my search is to nourish my ego.”

Rabindranath Tagore is not ordinarily associated with religion. But only a religious man of tremendous experience can write this poem. It is not just ordinary poetry; it contains such a great truth. This is the situation: blissfulness does not allow you to exist; you have to disappear. That’s why you don’t see many blissful people in the world. Misery nourishes your ego–that’s why you see so many miserable people in the world. The basic, central point is the ego.

For the realization of ultimate truth, you have to pay the price–and the price is nothing but dropping the ego. So when such a moment comes, don’t hesitate. Dancingly, disappear… with a great laughter, disappear; with songs on your lips, disappear.

And this is all fear is - the ego’s longing to maintain it’s identity.

Check out more of her cool ideas at http://www.klmasina.co.nz/

This entry was posted on Friday, May 18th, 2007 at 7:30 pm and is filed under enjoy everything.