The Making of 92 Things To Do Besides Suicide
The initial idea behind 92 Things To Do Besides Suicide was to shoot photographs of myself doing a wide range of activities that would help reduce my stress and make the audience laugh. My original intent was to allow the pictures to speak for themselves, but as I took each photograph I knew that I needed to give more to the reader. Each image needed a voice added to its message. Instead of just taking a picture, I also jotted down notes about how the situation made me feel. What was opening in my brain that could help others cope with suicidal thoughts?
The whole process started in the winter of 2000. The Pennsylvania winter was difficult for me to emotionally deal with, so I knew that a weird project would be the best way to keep my mind focused on a goal, instead of how much my life sucked a big bowl full of rotten eggs. Now that I live in Austin, I seem to go through a struggle in the summer because the Texas heat just drags on and on, but that’s my seasonal problem, not yours. Each photograph was a little shield against my own pervasive negative thinking. During the set-up of the lights and props and the creation of the book, I got so caught up in the actions and the planning that I didn’t have time to worry about my life. I had a goal to accomplish.
The more I shot, the more interesting the pictures became. When I uploaded each image to my computer I reviewed my notes and I made a separate document that explained what I did and felt. This added the extra dimension to help make it a success. After I had a little over 200 photos I went through each one and whittled out all the crappy ones, then I put them into eight sections:
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Anger
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Overwhelming Sadness
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Depression
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Frustration
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Feeling Uncomfortable Being You
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Fear Of Living
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Tired Of It All
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The Anxiety That Kept Me From Enjoying My Life
I separated each photo into sections according to each emotion so I could get a better grasp of what I was trying to accomplish thus helping me see the big picture. As I built the book I began to see it come together. It looked like something I would buy to read in the bathroom. It probably sounds weird to create something to read on the toilet, but it was exactly the theme I was trying to reach. Then it was time for the most excruciating part of writing that I’ve actually learned to enjoy: the editing process. However I’ll talk about that next Sunday.
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August 13th, 2007 at 7:44 am[…] Staib gives a behind-the-scenes look at his new e-book, The Making of 92 Things To Do Besides Suicide posted at Karl Staib and the Pursuit of Happiness. The book will be available on September […]